How do you chill the ef out when your children are fighting or being intense?
There are loads of strategies that you can implement like connecting with your kids and letting them duke it out. And sometimes none of these strategies seem to work and you just want to lose it.
So what then?
How do you stay calm? How do you do it?
3. Choose how you’re going to respond
**This takes time to change, so go easy on yourself as you learn new ways of being.
Here are some quotes that resonate for me, perhaps they will for you too (and mother can interchanged with parent or father),
“It is not what I do as a mother, but who I am as a human being that will make a deep and lasting impression on my children. I can only bring peace to my children when I possess it myself.”
“Children are not a distraction from important work. They are the most important work”. —CS Lewis
“Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting”. —Brene Brown
This doesn’t mean to imply you are responsible for their happiness and all of their behaviour. No way. It means that you are responsible for you. And who you are and how you respond does matter. They are watching. They are modelling. If that leaves you feeling bad, give yourself some compassion and forgiveness and know that you can create change and we’re all imperfect. This is where the power lies really. There are no quick fixes and band aid solutions. A reality we come to realize, sooner or later, that the only thing we can control is ourselves.
So what can you do now? Take deep breaths, be kind to yourself, talk to someone (a trusted friend or someone like me), read books and/or go on a horse retreat!by